The Announcements We've All Been Waiting For!!!

We've had a lot going on lately!  Since I last wrote, we traveled across the country, technically visiting six-ish states, we spent a night in the hospital with a dehydrated Afton, we celebrated Eliza's first birthday and she hilariously ate an ice cream cone all by herself, the girls discovered Taco Bell... oh! and Ty finished pilot training.  What?!?  I said TY FINISHED PILOT TRAINING!!!

I guess this post is supposed to be about announcements... at least that's what the title says.  So, without further ado...

1.  In case you missed it, Ty finished pilot training!  This is such a huge accomplishment.  I mean, I've been proud of him for a lot of things, but this is toward the top of the list.  Not just that he completed it, but HOW he completed it.  He had a lot on his plate with an extremely difficult year of training.  But he has been so present in our lives as a husband and father.  I'm amazed at how he did it all.  The evening after his final flight, we went out to celebrate.

Don't worry.  We didn't drug Eliza, though you may be wondering based on her picture.  Ty did think the mushrooms had a strong wine flavor though. ;-)

2.  "Assignment Night" (AKA the night that determines virtually the rest of Ty's career--the night he finds out what plane he will be flying and what base we're going to and what bases are options in the future) was tonight.

Ty cutting the last link on his Assignment Night chain.

So.... we now know what plane he will be flying at what base next.  And the answer is.....

Ty will be flying the T-6!!! "Wait, hasn't he flown that before?" you ask.  You would be correct.  We will be going to San Antonio, TX for 5 months of training then returning to Columbus, MS for another 3 years so Ty can be an instructor for new student pilots.  He's very excited about the opportunity, we are excited to stay where we are for a little bit longer, and we look forward to the adventures that lie ahead, including going through this whole assignment thing again since "instructor" is not a career path for Air Force pilots--just a temporary assignment.

3.  I guess this is kind of a big deal too:

Aleisha, if you're reading this, thanks for the idea I swiped from you. :)

Lots going on, lots of fun to come, and lots to be excited about!

Where I Stand.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/the-cost-and-blessings-of-discipleship?lang=eng

I've been thinking about the quote above quite a bit lately.  I've spent many hours thinking, praying, reading, studying, writing, and repeating over the past few weeks.  As much as I wish there weren't, there are several arguments flying around the internet about a group named Ordain Women, their recently excommunicated leader, and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS).  I do not wish to be a part of the arguments--I've seen a lot of nastiness on both sides, and it is not right.  For people who profess to follow Jesus Christ, I would expect better.  But I do feel it is important for those who know me to know where I stand on this.

I do not support the groups that demand for the ordination of women in the LDS church.  I do not hate them either.  I would hope we can all reach out with love and compassion to those with whom we disagree.  They are mostly people who have sincere questions and concerns.  I can understand and sympathize with that.  I do disagree, however, with both their cause and their methods.  Their leader, Kate Kelly, was recently excommunicated from the LDS Church, not because she had questions (those are welcomed and encouraged in the Church), but because of her acts of protest and defiance.  The Church recently published this statement in response to the media firestorm that ensued.

I fully support the leaders of our Church.  It is a personal decision to do so, and one that was made as I came to know for myself that God still speaks today through a living prophet--a core tenant of the LDS faith.

I also believe that it is not the doctrine of the LDS Church to belittle women.  In fact, my experience and study shows that the Church does quite the opposite.  I feel empowered and ennobled in a great cause as a woman.  Women are valued and respected here.  I do not dispute that other women may have had different experiences than I, but I do believe that these instances are the result of human error, not that of the doctrine of the Church.

I am grateful to be a woman in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I am grateful for the things that I know.  I am grateful to have an understanding of who I am and how I fit into God's plan to bless all of His children.  I don't know everything, but I know enough.  I know enough to feel inspired, empowered, and happy.



***I've written several long drafts of this post, and decided to eliminate the majority of my points and explanations.  I felt they were not necessary for the intent of this post.  However, I'd be happy to have discussion with anyone who has questions or would like to further understand.  I don't wish to engage in debates, but will happily engage in productive discussion.  Thank you.***

Three Years

Time sure flies.  The other day Ty and I realized that we went on our first date nearly five years ago.  That blows my mind.

Three years ago today, I married the man of my dreams.  I'll leave the gushy stuff at that.  I thought it'd be fun to do a little, and by little I mean brief, year-in-review times three.

May 27th, 2011

WEDDING DAY!   http://houseofpaynetm.blogspot.com/2012/01/peculiar.html

May 27th, 2011 - May 26th, 2012:

• 2 Moves
• 1 New Child
• 22 Blog Posts
• Most Popular:

IT'S A GIRL!!! http://houseofpaynetm.blogspot.com/2011/11/breaking-news.html

May 27th, 2012

Afton's Baby Blessing   http://houseofpaynetm.blogspot.com/2012/07/blessing-week.html

May 27th, 2012 - May 26th, 2013:

• 1/2 Move
• 0 New Children, 1 Total
• 35 Blog Posts
• Most Popular:

The day I buzzed Afton's hair.  http://houseofpaynetm.blogspot.com/2012/11/aftons-hair-comedy.html

May 27th, 2013

That one time our moving truck got stuck in a ditch.   http://houseofpaynetm.blogspot.com/2013/05/what-weve-been-up-to.html

May 27th, 2013 - May 26th, 2014

• 1/2 Move
• 1 New Child, 2 Total
• 12 Blog Posts
• Most Popular:

The day we became FOUR   http://houseofpaynetm.blogspot.com/2013/05/what-weve-been-up-to.html

And that brings us to today.

May 27th, 2014:

The only picture I've taken thus far today.  Ty took a break from work to come visit!

It's been a great three years.  Three years ago I made the best decision of my life, and the past three years I have had that reaffirmed to me time and time again.  Happy Anniversary Ty!

Here's to this coming year of at least one possible move, many more adventures, and more blog posts than last year!

Here's to another three!... I mean thirty!... I mean... well, you know.  Forever.  

6's and T's

Well... I have a lot of catching up to do on our lives.  I've kind of viewed this blog as a sort of family newsletter, or family journal.  I've recently thought more about adding some personal thoughts and ideas to my writing as well.  I've done a couple of those posts.  But as far as the family updates go... It's been awhile.

Today's update is brought to you by the letter T and the number 6.

1.  6 = The number of months since I wrote our last family update.

2.  T = Ty.  Ty is Terrific.  Speaking of T's and six's and Ty being terrific....

3.  T-6 = The airplane Ty flew for the phase of his training that he completed last week.

4.  6 = The number of months that he flew that plane.

5.  6 = The number of months Ty will spend in the next phase of his training.

6.  T = T-1, the plane Ty will be flying for the next phase of his training.

Ty receiving his assignment to the T-1 yesterday.

The T-1 is a trainer plane designed to prepare pilots to fly large aircraft, such as tankers, cargo, or intelligence planes.  I am so very proud of him and the road he has taken to get to this point.  Pilot training is an extremely intense program.  Student pilots usually work about 12 hours per day, and then are expected to spend several hours studying outside of work.  Many seasoned pilots say that pilot training was the most difficult year of their careers.  Squadron leadership has personally told me that they purposely put way more on the students' plates than they can possibly handle.  The program is meant to stretch, and test, and stress, and push them to their limits.  Many have said that the T-6 portion of training is the absolute worst.  Additionally, most of the students are single, some are married, and very few have any kids yet.  Having two kids during pilot training is almost unheard of.  And Ty did it.  And he did it well.

Ty and Afton with a T-6.  He spent over 90 hours flying one of these over the past six months.

Not only has he performed well in his training, he has been an incredible presence in our home. I've heard several fellow students comment to him that they don't know how he does it.  In addition to everything I mentioned before, he plays with his little girls every day. He spends time with me.  He kicks me out the door so I can get a break, when he got up before me in the morning and worked hard all day long.  He did dishes, he made dinners, he did it all.  He was, and is, incredible.

I am so excited for him and this new phase of training.  I am excited to see what the future has in store for us.  In six more months, we'll find out what is next... we could stay here a few more years, we could get sent somewhere else in the U.S., we could get shipped overseas, Ty could be deployed... who knows.  But I am excited.  And I am excited to do it with someone so terrific.

#BecauseOfHim

I feel like I'm just jumping on the bandwagon here, especially because I haven't posted in so long, but it's a good bandwagon to be on.  In fact, my honest hope is that the whole world will jump on this bandwagon in one way or another, and it doesn't have to be via a blog post.  I hope the whole world will come to know the Savior and jump on the "bandwagon" of discipleship by following Him, and by sharing personal witnesses of Him.

In the week preceding Easter, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has been putting out some new videos and pictures featuring Jesus Christ and has been sharing this Christ-focused media around the internet, especially via mormon.org. (easter.mormon.org) I love this for two main reasons:

1.  It has encouraged me to be more forward with sharing my testimony of Christ.  That is something I need to do more regularly--I want it to be a part of who I am.  In doing so, I find myself strengthened in my belief and desire to follow Him.

2.  I would hope it is making even more clear that members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) believe in Jesus Christ.  He is the Jesus of the New Testament and the Savior of all mankind.

I want to add my personal witness of Him to the many that have been flooding the internet this week.

He lives.  He loves me.  He loves you.  He has taken upon Himself all that I have and will ever experience--my joys, my weaknesses, my pains, my sorrows, my sins, my heartache.  He's felt it all.  I know I'm never alone.  He is there to comfort me, strengthen me, forgive me... and not only that, but to make me better.

There have been many days in my life when I reflect back at the end of the day and I honestly can't explain how I made it through or accomplished the things that I did.  Well, I can't explain it unless I refer to the Savior.  I didn't have the strength to do some of the things I have done, so He stepped in and helped me... simply because I asked Him to.  He loves me that much.  He'll do it for you too--just try it.

#BecauseOfHim I have hope in the future.  #BecauseOfHim I can make it through today.  #BecauseOfHim I can become a better person tomorrow.

Today is Good Friday.  It is the day we commemorate the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.  I imagine it would be a very depressing day to have witnessed.  It may have seemed like hope was lost.  But we now know, and celebrate on Easter, that Christ rose from the dead.  He lives again and we will all live again.  We have hope because of and through Him.

Please take a moment to watch this video.  It is only two and a half minutes long, and will be worth every second.

#BecauseOfHim Sunday will come.

Some Thoughts on Trials

Ty has long been encouraging me to write more.  Not just about our family and the goings on, but thoughts and ideas.  I (Michelle, if it wasn't clear already) have had a million starts of posts go through my head millions of times, but I never actually sat down to write them.  Why?  Time, forgetfulness, introversion, fear, and other things are all to blame at some point or another.  But hey, it's still January.  And I've got something on my mind.  So why not?  Ty may soon regret his nudges, but there's only one way to find out.

The topic that's on my mind today is trials.  It actually started while thinking about this: http://herscoop.com/posts/empowering-photo-series/ .  I think this is a great thought (albeit a popular one... I feel like stuff like this has been popping up all over the place lately).  It feels like almost any time I read something, trying to help myself with raising my children, someone somewhere is trying to guilt me into doing something differently.  It's ridiculous.  I'm getting better at being confident in the decisions I make as a parent, no matter what others think I should do.  In fact, this is how my daughter wanted to dress today:

Don't worry, there are pants and socks underneath those tights.

And I let her.  In fact, I helped her.  What kind of mother am I?  Okay, full disclosure here.  That's not a huge deal--we didn't even leave the house.  I just wanted an excuse to post a picture of my cute and funny kid.

Anyways, seem like I'm off topic already?  I'm getting there, don't worry.  As I was thinking about this, I was thinking about how everyone has reasons for the decisions that they make.  I have my own list, but that's not what this post is about.  I was thinking about how often trials dictate our decisions.  Sometimes a child comes with his or her own set of trials, sometimes a parent does, and sometimes trials come from all over the place.  We all have them.  We're human beings.

I've had three experiences that have specifically come to mind since it got rolling on this topic.

My other cute kid.  Just because.

One. Awhile back, I listened to a young mother tell the story of a crazy morning she once had with her kids.  Ultimately her point was that even when things get crazy, we can still find strength and peace through our faith.  I left the conversation feeling both validated and encouraged, which is hard to accomplish--just ask any husband.

Not long after, I was visiting with another friend who was present for that conversation.  She told me she was laughing during this story (as we all were)... because she was thinking, "Oh sweetie, that's nothing.  That sounds like a good day when I had little kids at my house."  I didn't think much of it at the time, except for that I'm glad that particular incident (or whatever "worse" incidents this second friend was referring to) hadn't happened to me yet.  But when my mind got rolling on this topic recently, this experience came back to my mind, but in a different way.

Do we wear our trials like a badge of honor?  Do we do it with some and not others?  Why?

I have my own trials that I tend to pull out when conversations steer their direction.  I have how long I've been in labor, which bones I've broken and ligaments I've pulled.  I've had my share of crappy friends, biased teachers, societal injustices, etc.  Why do I pull these stories out?  Why do I have to "top" the similar stories of others?  Does it make me more awesome?  Do I need an "I walked on the moon" story? (Please watch Brian Regan's "I Walked On the Moon" bit on YouTube if you don't know what I'm talking about).  Do I want pity?  What is it?

Two.  I recently walked into a conversation two of my friends were having.  I was greeted with, "Hey Michelle!  We were just talking about how hard you have it.  We don't know how you do it.  You're awesome."  I've gotta admit, that gave me one healthy dose of validation.  I do feel like I'm in a pretty difficult phase of my life, and there's a lot on my plate, but, like I said before, that's not what this post is about.  It felt good to hear them say that because it's okay to feel like it's hard sometimes.  In fact, most days I count as a success simply because all three of us girls are still alive when Ty walks through the door.  But do my trials make me awesome?

At first, like I said, I felt validated.  Even a little empowered.  But later on, after thinking about it, I was a bit discouraged.  "My life IS hard right now.  This stinks."  What if my friends had said, "Hey, we recognize you've got it kind of hard right now.  But you can do it--because you're awesome.  Please let us help you in any way we can."  I don't think they were wrong--I am just thinking out loud on a computer screen, wondering what a different approach might do.  (I should note that they are actually both a huge help to me very frequently.)

One thing these ladies failed to take into account was their own situations.  Their husbands are gone just as much as mine.  One of them has just one single toddler with a pretty mild temperament.  But she also goes out with the missionaries at least once a week and spends a lot of time serving other people.  The other lady has three kids.  One is a toddler, and the other two are in school.  She teaches piano to her older boys and helps them with their homework.  Why am I awesome simply because I keep myself, a toddler, and a baby alive?  I don't do the things that they do on top of mere survival. We are all just in different situations, and our varying situations force us or allow us to do different things.

Three.  This one isn't a single experience--it happens repeatedly.  Eliza is a happy baby.  No denying that.  People comment on that to me a lot.  I don't want to leave them hanging, so of course I should say something in response.... and sometimes I choose that darned "look at my trials" road.  "Well, we earned her after having Afton.  SHE was not a happy baby."  "Oh, I am well aware that she's happy... we've experienced the opposite before."  "She has her own set of difficulties."... Why oh why?  Does it make me a better mom that I've handled a more difficult baby?  Is it some weird way of shielding or compensating for my own insecurities?  Shouldn't I just be grateful that Eliza is an easy baby?  (Seriously.  I don't know what I'd do if she wasn't).  Couldn't my experience dealing with a difficult baby be put to better use by reassuring and encouraging another mother who is currently struggling with something I've been through?  Would it help her to say, "Oh, you should have seen MY kid"?  Probably not.


Maybe our trials should be put to a more productive use.  I mean this in two ways.  One is the universal fact that when we endure our trials well, we are made to be better.  Trials can destroy us too.  God gives us trials because He knows that if we handle them appropriately, we will become better for it.  We don't just become better simply because we've been through something difficult.  I know this is the truth because I have lived it.  I've been through some hard things, as have we all.  Some of them have made me better and some of them, I admit, have not.  It was all about how I handled it.  Being in labor for 36 hours that one time... not sure what that did, but I know it certainly didn't qualify me as Mom of the Year.  It just happened.  That's it.

The other way I reference using trials productively is best illustrated by Jesus Christ.  After all, isn't that one of the things we love about the Savior?  He has been through it all.  You and I take comfort in the fact that He's been in our shoes.  We know that we can overcome our trials through and because of Him.  When we are leaning on Him for support or simply letting Him carry us, does He smile down and say, "Oh Michelle, this is nothing.  You should see what I'VE been through."  Yeah, that probably wouldn't be very effective, would it?  He uses His experience to help us, not to minimize us.  Minimizing my trial doesn't help me handle it better, but understanding and encouraging does.  Powerfully.

"It is only an appreciation of this divine love that will make our own suffering first bearable, then understandable, and finally redemptive." - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, "Like a Broken Vessel" (http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/like-a-broken-vessel?lang=eng)  (Blogger won't let me make that into a hyperlink for some reason... Copy and paste the address into your browser.  It's a great talk.)

I'm going to try thinking more like He would.  I don't need to "top" someone else's story.  My trials don't make me great.  God gives me trials to give me opportunities to become better.  He does it for everyone because He loves everyone.  Instead of attempting to artificially inflate my own self worth because I do hard things, maybe I need to think about becoming great by how I get through those hard things.  I need to recognize that others are doing the same thing.  They can handle more in some areas than I can, and maybe not so much in others, not because one of us is more awesome than the other, but simply because we are different.  I won't go so far as to say everyone is doing his or her best, because I don't think everyone truly is.  But I have absolutely no way of knowing with each person because we are all so incredibly unique, so it's best just to assume that they are.  And I'll probably be right.  I'd want them to do the same for me.

I have trials.  You have trials.  They don't define us or make us great.  How we handle our own personalized trials helps us become the awesome people we need to be.

There you have it.  A quick dip into the puddle of mush inside my skull.  If you hated it, don't worry, I'll probably be posting just some family catch-up for awhile.  If you hate the online public documentation of our lives, I may try to think a deep thought sometime soon.  Maybe.