Don't get me wrong, Afton is adorable. She spends an okay amount of time each day smiling and playing and cooing. But she spends quite a bit more time fussing and screaming. She sleeps great at night but is ever so demanding all during the day. We've done a bit of "research" (aka talking to other people, including our parents), and we've decided that Afton is a bit on the fussy side. She was so mellow her first few days when she was drugged up on magnesium (which was running through my veins to combat a diagnosis of pre-eclampsia which I still don't believe I had). She is not usually completely inconsolable either. So I think we convinced ourselves that she is a really happy baby and had just held on to that outdated evidence until recently.
She does cry more than most babies and I am okay admitting that. I know that doesn't make me a bad mom or a whiner. It's not like I made her fussy. I'm doing everything I can to keep her happy. Some babies are just fussier than others. This also doesn't make Afton a bad kid... she's the greatest. I'm just learning a lot about love and patience and selflessness. I'm also exhausted. I'm grateful she's our first though because this would be so much harder if there were other kids to take care of as well. We love our daughter and know that she is a special little girl. We wouldn't trade her for anything. Besides, who wouldn't love a kid this cute?
Well, there you have it. I've admitted it. And I don't feel like any less of a person or parent for having done so. Any other takers?
Oh Michelle, I so appreciate this post. I could have used you as a friend when I was a new mom.
ReplyDeleteWhen Ande was born the nurses all told me what a sweet, sweet baby she was . . . "so good-natured," they said. And since they took care of her for four days I figured they knew what they were talking about. But when I got her home she was not a happy camper. She nearly drove me crazy with her fussiness and crying. I kept telling myself she was happy because the nurses told me she was happy. Finally, after four months of fuss I changed what I was feeding her and then she was happy. But until then, it was miserable for both of us.
You're right, fuss or no fuss, Afton is cute, loveable, wonderful, and ours.
Good luck with the fuss until you find out what causes it or it corrects itself!
A-men! Well written Michelle. Well written. Although, I wasn't as wise as you and totally blamed the fussiness on the baby. I loved him dearly, but secretly thought he might turn out to be a serial killer. :) I wish I had been a little more mature. However, he grew up just fine and is serving honorably at the moment. Disaster averted. I credit it to changing his diet as well. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteGRANT Rachel (who is too lazy to change the google i.d. from Maddie.)
Yep it's a load of bologna! Most of the women in my ward who gushed about their perfect babies were the ones going weeks without sleep. They just sugar coat it. Most babies are fussy, they just have different levels of "fussy"-ness. You're post rocks!!
ReplyDeleteWe NEED to chat! Okay my mom and I have decided that anyone who says that their newborns were not colicy (new word) have just forgotten. Clancy is a fuss face too! He's been that way since the very beginning. Mylicon is helping a lot with that. My ped said you can give it at every feeding. Their little tummies are just immature and can't break down lactose like we can. My mom and I discovered Colief, which is even more awesome. I only give Colief to Clancy once, maybe twice a day and it has made ALL the difference. I know I was a bit freaked about giving my newborn anything, but I'd rather have him content and fussy every once in awhile then the other way around. I haven't seen any side effects. He still has his awake time (now without red faced crying).
ReplyDeleteP.S. Afton is SO cute. I can't wait for her and Clancy to meet! Love you!
Oh I could talk to you for a long time about this. I am lucky enough to say that Kayla did not say a PEEP for the first 2 months. The second two months she made up for that lol. We found out in the long run that she was VERY hungry and was not getting enough food but I am sure she would have still had her days and her moments as we all do! I always try to put myself in her shoes. It would STINK to have no one understand you and know exactly what you need as soon as you need it! I am SURE you’re a great mommy and she is a complete sweetheart. Sure miss you lots and hope one day I will get to meet her!
ReplyDeleteLots of love!
oh man this brings back way too many memories. my oldest daughter screamed at least 6 or 7 hours a day. I second the milicon drops and they also have gripe water you can try. but the thing that helped the most...which still didn't work completely but the thing that i noticed the most difference from was cutting milk out of MY diet since i was breastfeeding. it is really hard for babies to bread down cow milk so maybe you should try a dairy free diet yourself. if you are breastfeeding. also stay away from gassy foods like brocoli and i couldn't have chocolate either while nursing. But i will say there actually is such a thing as a perfect non crying baby. my 2nd baby would go days without crying, no joke, because I knew his exact schedule and if i stuck to that he would never ever cry. so yes, they are out there, those dream babies. but i think they are probably few and far between. but i would guess it is her tummy having problems. I don't know if she is as extreme as my daughter was, but maybe you can mention it to your dr. sometimes they can give you meds for what they call reflux. just a thought. good luck and hang in there, it is ok to leave a crying baby and go blast your music so you can't hear her and give yourself 10 minutes to refocus. it is hard, and even though i always thought those people who would ever shake their babies were crazy...those feelings become very very real after little sleep and a screaming baby for 7 hours. my little girl is now 5 and she is still a screamer...just sayin, parenting is hard sometimes. but it is also oh so worth it!
ReplyDeleteI remember finally admitting that Levin wasn't a happy baby. He became happy the day he learned to crawl... I sugar coat it though and say it is because he is driven and his dang body was holding him back. ;)
ReplyDeleteLoved the post.
Michelle...Afton and my daughter Aria are kindred spirits. I was nodding and "amen sister"ing while reading your post! I don't think everyone's baby is as perfect and happy as they put off. :) It will get better. My daughter is a DIVA and at 3 months now she is a lot happier but still fussy. You're a great mom and I know that because I know you! :)
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